Dating After Divorce

By: Hoang-Anh Zapien

Once a bad relationship or divorce finally comes to an end, parents often yearn for the return of a "normal" life with a companion. In this quest to move on, parents may rush into another relationship. As difficult as dating is, it is even more difficult and complicated when there are children involved. Above all else, parents must first consider how their children will be affected by the introduction of a new partner. Rushing someone into your childrens' lives will not benefit any of the parties involved. An introduction at the appropriate time is the key to success.

Even long after a divorce children often still harbor the hope that their mom and dad will get back together. Seeing a parent with a new partner destroys this fantasy. Therefore, it is essential to TAKE THINGS SLOW. There is absolutely no need to introduce your new partner to your children before the time is right. If this person is as wonderful as you think they are, they will be patient and understand your children's need to adjust. Rather than forcing this new person on your children, allow them to develop their own relationship with the new partner. Your children will then be able to discover the new partner's merits.

Before introducing your children to someone new that you are dating, keep in mind how your children are reacting to the divorce. If your children are still exhibiting signs that they are angry or sad that their family unit has dissolved, introducing a new partner will only cause them to resent your new partner. Allow them time to grieve, and help them to work through the effects of the divorce before forcing them into a new situation. It is important to remember that children are innocent bystanders to your relationships. Also remember that there is always the risk that the new relationship will not work out. Breaking up with a new partner will be even more complicated if your child begins to form a bond with that person.

Talk to your children. It is important to explain that not every dating relationship will end in marriage. Ask them for their thoughts and feelings about meeting a new partner. They might be excited about meeting your new partner, or they may be anxious about allowing a stranger into their lives. As they express their hopes, concerns and fears, help them see the situation clearly.

Dating after divorce can be tricky, but if you take your time and navigate carefully, it can be a win-win for everyone.

Hoang-Anh Zapien is an Associate with Kring & Chung, LLP's Inland Empire office. She can be reached at (909) 941-3050 or azapien@kringandchung.com.

No Comments

Leave a comment
Comment Information
Premium Av Preeminent 5.0 out 5 Rating Peer Review Rated LexisNexis Martindale Hubbell Avvo Super Lawyers OC Metro Register
Contact

How Can We Help You?

Bold labels are required.

Contact Information
disclaimer.

The use of the Internet or this form for communication with the firm or any individual member of the firm does not establish an attorney-client relationship. Confidential or time-sensitive information should not be sent through this form.

close

Privacy Policy

Office Locations

Irvine Office
38 Corporate Park
Irvine, CA 92606

Phone: 949-345-1621
Fax: 949-261-8800
Irvine Law Office Map

Los Angeles Office
3435 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 2700
Los Angeles, CA 90010

Phone: 949-345-1621
Phone: 213-232-1633
Map & Directions

Temecula Office
41955 Fourth St., Suite 315
Temecula, CA 92590

Phone: 949-345-1621
Phone: 951-331-4520
Fax: 951-257-0450
Map & Directions

Sacramento Office
2620 J Street #1
Sacramento, CA 95816

Phone: 949-345-1621
Phone: 916-266-9000
Fax: 916-266-9001
Map & Directions

San Diego Office
11682 El Camino Real, Suite 100
San Diego, CA 92130

Phone: 949-345-1621
Phone: 858-436-0268
Fax: 858-436-0279
Map & Directions

Las Vegas Office
1050 Indigo Dr., Suite 200
Las Vegas, NV 89145

Phone: 949-345-1621
Phone: 702-260-9500
Fax: 702-260-9434
Map & Directions